Self-Control Over Anger: “Be Angry and Do Not Sin”

Hey, y’all!

Have you ever felt that flash of anger rise up before you even had time to think? Maybe it was because someone cut you off in traffic, said something hurtful, or pushed your last nerve. Anger is a powerful emotion—one that can either lead to destruction or be used for good.

The Bible doesn’t tell us not to feel anger. In fact, Ephesians 4:26 says:
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger."

That means anger itself isn’t a sin—what we do with it is.

So today, let’s talk about how to practice self-control over anger—learning how to respond in a way that honors God instead of reacting in a way we regret.

Anger Isn’t the Problem—Lack of Self-Control Is

God created us with emotions, and anger is one of them. Jesus Himself showed righteous anger when He cleared the temple (Matthew 21:12-13). The difference? Jesus’ anger was controlled, purposeful, and in line with God’s will.

But too often, our anger isn’t righteous—it’s reactionary. Instead of being led by the Spirit, we let our emotions take the driver’s seat. Proverbs 29:11 warns us:

"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."

When anger controls us, it leads to harsh words, broken relationships, and regret. But when we submit our anger to God, we can learn to respond wisely instead of reacting impulsively.

How to Practice Self-Control Over Anger

1. Pause Before You React

James 1:19 gives us a simple but powerful principle:

"Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger."

When you feel anger rising, pause. Take a breath, step away, and give yourself time to process. Self-control starts in the moment between feeling and responding.

2. Identify the Root of Your Anger

Anger is often a surface emotion. Ask yourself:

• Am I hurt?
• Am I afraid?
• Am I feeling disrespected or unheard?

When we get to the root cause, we can deal with it in a healthier way instead of just lashing out.

3. Pray Before You Speak

Before you respond, take it to God. Ask Him to help you see the situation clearly and respond with wisdom. Psalm 37:8 says:

"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil."

4. Choose Words That Build, Not Destroy

Angry words can’t be taken back. Proverbs 15:1 reminds us:

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Instead of attacking, speak truth with love. If you need to confront someone, do it calmly and respectfully—not in the heat of the moment.

5. Let Go of Unforgiveness

Some anger lingers because we refuse to let go. But Ephesians 4:31-32 challenges us to:

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

When we hold onto anger, it poisons us. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone’s actions—it’s about freeing ourselves from the burden of bitterness.

Final Thoughts

Y’all, anger isn’t sinful—but how we handle it can be. When we allow the Holy Spirit to shape our responses, anger can be turned into something productive instead of destructive.

So next time you feel anger rising, pause, pray, and choose your words carefully. Let’s be people who handle anger with grace, wisdom, and self-control.